[Tritian]

I just got done watching SG1's series finale. Spoilers ahead, plus what I would of done differently.

SG1 gets a call from the Assguard (sic) to stop by for tea. SG1 show up in the Odyssey with Beau Bridges for some reason, and immediately Thor is like "Oh hey, we're dying and we're giving you all our shit."

Thor gives them two things.

1) A DVD with the Asgard interactive encyclopedia.
2) Phasers.

Then the Ori show up to crash the party. Thor sees this and decides to beam down to the planet and proceed to blow up their own planet like the fricken Death Star for no apparent reason.

How about a little help you Assguard fucks? OK, so you're dying. Could you maybe blow up the Ori that are in orbit first? I know you have those planetary defense turrets.

The rest of the episode was just as ridiculous. It actually gets more ridiculous, involving time travel and tons of technobabble solutions. But that's not the main point of this rant.

Click the "Show Spoiler" Button to reveal hidden text.

I've decided to write down how I'd do it differently. Let me know what you think.

SG1 gets word that the Ori are mounting an offensive. Eight Ori ships are heading to Earth to convert everyone to christi.. er i mean 'Origin'. SG1 has no choice but to ask the Asgard for assistance. The Asgard give SG1 phasers and an interactive encyclopedia full of Asgard knowledge.

They use the Asgard knowledge to p1mp out the Odyssey into some kinda bad-ass killing machine. Bat-mobile armor, Quantum torpedos, turrets, whatever.

The Ori show up at Earth, but they have another weapon up their sleeve. You see, earlier in the season they converted Daniel Jackson into an Ori Prior. And now they reactivated that gene or whatever in him, and he's under the control of the Ori again. They have Daniel beam down to SGC to sabotage the HQ.

Daniel starts throwing people around, killing redshirts left and right. Slayer is playing over the PA speakers. Women and children are crying. It's a bad time for all. Suddenly, Beau Bridges shows up and orders Daniel to stop the madness. Daniel starts putting the Darth Vader choke on him and lifts him off the ground.

Cut to the space scene. Ori ships blowing up, slamming into other ships. Vipers launch from the Odyssey and start tearing into Ori ships. One Ori ships slams into the moon, and blows a huge chunk off which slams into the Earth, destroying the French.

Meanwhile, back at the SGC, Beau Bridges is getting death-choked by Daniel when Vala shows up. Vala pleads with Daniel to stop the madness, and is getting through to him. Daniel releases Beau and relaxes for a moment. Then all of a sudden, he lifts Vala up into the air with his telekinesis, and slams her into Beau, blowing them both out a window. They fall down the side of the mountain and then explode.

Up in space, the remnants of the Ori fleet retreat, and Earth is safe again. Unfortunately, SG1 soon finds out about the trouble at SGC. Carter, Mitchel, Tealc, and Johnson the security guard, beam down to the surface and hook up with Daniel.

Daniel explains that he has killed Vala and Beau by shoving them out a window. They do not believe Daniel, since Shyan Mountain is an UNDERGROUND complex and has no windows. As a demonstration of Daniels power, he kills Johnson. This quickly ends the doubt.

They decide to settle their differences over a game of Starcraft. Daniel wins with a Zerg rush, and Humanity gets converted to Origin.

The End.

[Tim]

Good stuff.. especially the part about the french. Can we get bush caught in that, too?

The only suggestion I might make, except to change the name to Cheyenne Mountain (which is an actual air force base located in the rockies) would be some sort of strip-drinking contest between vela and carter, with the result being a tie (and, as we all know, a strip-drinking contest tie means a lap dance-off, which i'd be up for).

And yes, the original blew. Your rendition of it was 10x better than the original.

[SpiritOne]

wow. Im not sure what else can be said of that...

Anyways, other than the glaringly obvious use of the recycled TNG plot Timescape used in the SG1 finale, its not the end of the show or the whole Origin "story". There are two DVD movies coming out, the "Arc of Truth" and "Continuum" .

The Arc of Truth will/should bury the whole Origin storyline and finish it. Kind of self explanatory, they are looking for some ancient artifact, in the shape of an arc, to destroy the Ori. Meh.

Continuum is more of an SG1 story, it brings back Baal and has him travel back in time to prevent Earth's Stargate program from getting started in the first place.

[Tritian]

Originally Posted by SpiritOne

The Arc of Truth will/should bury the whole Origin storyline and finish it. Kind of self explanatory, they are looking for some ancient artifact, in the shape of an arc, to destroy the Ori. Meh.

Didn't Indiana Jones already do that?

Originally Posted by SpiritOne

Continuum is more of an SG1 story, it brings back Baal and has him travel back in time to prevent Earth's Stargate program from getting started in the first place.

Hmmm, sounds interesting.

I'll end up watching them both. I'm sure they will explain everything away in their usual SG1-technobabble solutions. SG1 has more technobabble then Voyager. I'm shocked B&B have nothing to do with it.